HB600: Similar Legislation Would Help Churches

There has been so much ruckus on the progressive left concerning the Tennessee legislature’s passage of HB600/SB0632, the “Equal Access to Intrastate Commerce Act.” This new state law overturns any local law or ordinance which offers protection to LGBT employees. Amid a flurry of online protest by LGBT and progressive groups, these “liberals” even went so far as to attack our newly elected Governor, Bill Haslam. This bill was introduced by Representative Glen Casada and conservative evangelical Christian group, Family Action Council after a secret closed door meeting, in an honest attempt to encourage uniformity in employment regulations across the state. The bill was lobbied for heavily by the Tennessee Chamber of Commerce. They and the member companies that make up their board of directors spinelessly came out against the bill AFTER IT HAD ALREADY PASSED!

Since the Family Action Council, our legislators and governor were so concerned about “small businesses” like Nissan, FedEx, AT&T, Comcast, DuPont, Pfizer, Blue Cross Blue Shield (BCBS), Caterpillar, KPMG, Whirlpool, Embraer, Alcoa and United Health Care, I figured the LGBT community and their allies could return the favor and help the numerous churches in the state that are suffering as well because of a lack of consistency in religious doctrine.

Surely, there is a legislator brave enough to partner with a group like the Tennessee Equality Project to draft legislation to unify religious practices. This, of course, would make it far easier for parishioners to become members of their local churches. Wouldn’t it be nice if you could walk into any conservative Christian church and know, without having to interview the clergy or look up the doctrine on Wikipedia, whether or not they subscribe to full submersion baptism?

Other things that could be ironed out would be:

  • Can women serve in the clergy?
  • Celibate clergy or married clergy?
  • Real wine or Welch’s Grape Juice?
  • Unicorns in the Bible (Job 39:9-12)?
  • Saturday or Sunday to be kept Holy?
  • Instrumental or non-instrumental hymns?
  • Holy relics or idol worship?
  • Magic underpants?
  • Pro-polygamy or pro-adultery?
  • Republican or Republican (oh… never mind)
  • Hypocrisy or lunacy?
  • Willem DeFoe or Mel Gibson?

Once this proposed legislation is passed, the citizens of Tennessee will no longer have to endure that awkward silence and accompanying stares during Sunday school (or Saturday School) when they open up the New International Version  rather than the King James Version.

You see, great things can happen through legislation. So what do you say? Who’s up for next year’s “Equal Access to Liturgical Uniformity”? Because if there is one thing I have learned it’s that if religious groups know what’s best for business then LGBT groups know what’s best for churches.