I was reading about contest for a VIP package to be given away for New York Pride on Bilerico. One of the comments was so profound that I had to share it with everyone. Unfortunately, I have no way to contact the author, Deiter M. Here’s Deiter’s comment:
You were the lady in the grocery store parking lot last Thursday.You were just about to your car and you dropped one of your bags of groceries that spilled all over. I ran over to help you pick up all your items. I noticed you had a bumper sticker on your car. It said: Marriage = 1 Man + 1 Woman. After I finished helping you load all of your items into your car, you thanked me and said: Thank you young man, what a kind thing to do. Most people are not so considerate.
You did not know that I am gay.
You were the man in the parking lot of the fast food restaurant by my house on Saturday. Your hood was up, and you were looking around as if you needed help. 2 teenage boys on their bikes were riding around the parking lot making comments about your “cheap car” breaking down. You yelled at them: “shut up fags.”I pulled my car up next to yours and asked if you needed a battery jump.You did, and I obliged. After your car was running again, you said:”Thanks dude..you just saved me a whole lot of hassle..no one else bothered to help me.”
You did not know that I am gay.
You were the young lady in the cell phone store on Monday. You had your daughter with you. I am guessing she was about 5 or 6. outside the store, 2 men walked by the window. They were holding hands, and pushing a baby stroller. You looked at the clerk behind the counter and in the most disapproving tone you could muster, proclaimed: “ughh..gay people around kids is just disgusting.I would NEVER let my kid around that kind of people.”
While you were busy voicing your disapproval, your daughter walked out of the store, a mere few feet from a main and busy street. I left the store to get your daughter, and bring her back inside to you.You got a little tear in your eye, and emphatically thanked me for protecting your daughter from harm.
You did not know that I am gay.
Besides the fact that I am gay, do you want to know what ELSE you did not know?
The fact is that every night in the privacy of my home, I am forced to wonder why so many people think that I am such a “considerate”, “thoughtful”, “helpful” person when they see me in the context of just living my every day life to the best of my ability, being a good person, and being kind to others and treating everyone I meet with respect.
And yet, without knowing, each of you were hurting me in return for my kindness. Voting to make it illegal to marry the person I love. Yelling gay slurs meant to harrass or belittle someone.Assuming that gay people must all be bad, and that there must be something wrong with them, and incapable of being positive role models for children.
Well all of the above incidents actually did occur. You all accepted my help. You all thanked me.You all thought I was a good person.And after I left you, you went back to your bumper stickers, your name calling, and your assumptions about what all gay people must be like.
I am a gay man. I was in fact born this way, and make no apologies for it. All I ask is that you stop sometimes and think about your actions when dealing with other people around you.
Your actions have consequences, whether or not they are visible to you, and maybe next time you are in need of help, you may not receive it. All because you made assumptions about a group of people, or an individual, based on stereotypes or ignorance or fear.
There are many things about people that are not always so apparent at first glance.
So be kind to everyone. The next person to cross paths with you,might be a person that you will miss out on a great opportunity to share lifes experiences with. All because you made an assumption about a person who has many good qualities.Please be careful what you say or do to other people around you. It would be a shame to miss out on something wonderful.
All because “you did not know.”
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The legislative session is over and I’m thinking I need to lighten up a bit and enjoy the summer.
Transgender or Transsexual
There’s been an ongoing heated debate by some transsexuals to separate themselves from the “transgender umbrella”. They claim that legislators find it difficult to allow a person that identifies as male, but dresses in female clothing to use the ladies room. Rightly, all debates about inclusion workplace protection center around “gender identity” or “gender non-conformance”. However, a transsexual feels they are born with a physical birth defect – the wrong genitalia, and that they are in fact, the sex opposite that listed on their birth certificate. Maybe it boild down to a transsexual as a matter of biology and transgender as a matter of choice?
I’m currently, not taking a position in this debate, but a recent article about a crossdresser on a US Airways flight is the embodiment of their concern. When legislation is proposed to protect transgender people, the public envisions the casual cross dresser that identifies as male, rather than someone born transsexual like Janet Mock, Editor of People Magazine.
Unidentified US Airways Passenger
Janet Mock, People Magazine Editor
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