9 Comments

  1. Tyra Dawn Barrett

    Thank you so very much for telling us your story, Carla. I’ve cried many tears this week over the losses that we’ve experienced in these so few days. When I think about the many suicides that we are aware of, and the many more that will we will never hear about, it sickens my heart. We DO have to be out, and real, and supportive of those who have not been fortunate enough to have the support we’ve had in our lives, and the strength we’ve mustered over the years. Being out as a faculty member at my college hasn’t always been easy, and there are many who still look at me with disdain and revulsion. So be it. The students who have come to me for the things you mention in your closing have been such an amazing blessing to me, and my life would be much less rich were I still hiding who I am. Bless your strength, your honesty, and your heroism. You have made, and will continue to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

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  2. Robin

    Hey, it’s your sister. I really like your blog. I just wanted to add/clarify one thing that you may not remember. You talked about when you took the sleeping pills. You may not remember this, but you and I talked on the phone a lot in the weeks/days before this happened. You had confided in me that you had tried to kill yourself before and I begged you not to do it again. You said you wouldn’t, but that day that you didn’t go to work, even though I lived 8 hours from you, I KNEW that something had happened to you. I called your house over and over again throughout the day with no answer. I called Mom and she did the same. I even got ahold of your boss and BEGGED him to go to your house and check on you. Mom shared in my concern and called him, too. Then, she decided she would call and let the phone ring for hours if she had to. Eventually, you answered and were delirious. She asked you what happened and used her other phone to call your boss and get him over there. He said that when he got there, your door was locked and you had to crawl to the door. He finally got in but could not lift you. He called 911 and got you medical help. We were so terrified that you would not make it. I went to my church before coming to see you and the preacher and deacons laid hands on me and prayed for your life. God spared your life and I am so thankful for that. I bring all this up to remind you how much we loved you (and still do) and that just because someone is a Christian does not mean they will reject you. Although, it has all been a process. We, by no means, have been accepting and understanding right from the start. But, you are right in that it does get better. You are living proof of that. And, I cannot imagine Jaime not being in our lives!! I love you two both!!

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    1. Carla

      @Robin: I honestly don’t remember much at all. What I do know is only what I’ve been able to piece together from what others have told me. For me, after the first few seizures, I have only brief fuzzy pictures of a few of my actions until I woke up at UT Hospital on dialysis a few days later. What sticks with me most is the feeling of fear and physical pain. I’m so thankful that you and Mom did what you could to make sure I’m here today.

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  3. I am so grateful for the strong, courageous, beautiful people I have come to know in the last year. My life is richer and better because of your story. Having permission to share this story is a huge gift. Thank you.

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  4. Chloie

    Thank you for sharing this. I cried from sadness & joy. I think you are amazing.
    I am so thankful Jamie & you are in my life.

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  5. Eric

    “They are afraid of more loss. They are afraid of pain and they don’t believe that being honest about yourself will ever have a payoff and that they are destined to suffer.”

    -You’re right on. That’s the biggest fear… the fear of the unknown of what happens. Reading this post is truly an inspirational blessing. I pray that someday you’ll know what an impact your story has had and will have on the lives of others.

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